We’ll look at the patterns showing up across five key relationship areas:
REASSURANCE & FEAR OF LOSING CONNECTION %
How much uncertainty such as a change in tone, less contact or a delayed reply leaves you worrying, overthinking or needing reassurance.
PULLING AWAY & PROTECTING YOUR SPACE %
How much you distance yourself, go quiet or need to escape when closeness, emotion or someone else’s needs begin to feel too much.
OVERGIVING & LOSING YOURSELF %
How often you put your own needs aside, keep the peace or take responsibility for making the relationship work.
CONFLICT & REPAIR %
What tends to happen when something feels wrong whether you speak up, become reactive, shut down or struggle to reconnect afterwards.
SELF-TRUST & SECURE CONNECTION %
How able are you to recognise your needs, set boundaries, tolerate uncertainty and stay connected without abandoning yourself.
You may have been repeating the pattern for longer than you realise.
Sometimes it isn’t obvious, because you can feel capable and confident in most areas of your life.
✓ You know what a healthy relationship should look like.
✓ You tell yourself you won’t overthink it this time.
✓ You try to keep the peace and not ask for too much.
✓ You carry on, even when something doesn’t feel quite right.
But when closeness, distance, conflict or uncertainty enters the relationship, familiar reactions can take over.
You might replay conversations, look for reassurance, put your own needs aside, become reactive, shut down or pull away completely.
Over time, these ways of protecting yourself can become automatic.
The aim of this scorecard isn’t to label you or put you into an attachment-style box.
It’s to help you recognise what happens for you in relationships, understand what may be driving it and see where change could begin.
Break The Pattern®
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Discover Your Relationship Patterns
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